Sometimes parents put extra burden on their children's mind by different desires

Every parents want their children to be successful in life. They have their own desires to be fulfilled by their children. They want their children to choose a career according to them. Well nothing is wrong in this as far as well-being is concerned because there is no well-wisher greater than parents. But if the son/daughter has different choice to pursue, it may be a bit embarrassing for the parents. Generally two ways are possible here---- one is, the son/daughter goes with the parents and pursue according to them. Here, he/she can do good if he/she makes his parents' wish his/her liking and is dedicated towards his/her goal. But if he/she can't manage between his/her liking and parents' wish, he/she may be lost in life. Second is, the parents go with their child and let him do what he wants. Although failure is not restricted to any condition or area, a person has almost full chance to succeed chasing his own dream rather than other's. 

                    But I am sharing a different aspect of the coin here. Sometimes the parents have a little bit embarrassing and absurd mindset while they are planning a career path for their child. First and foremost, they compare their child with others. Comparison is not bad if it is being done on the positive points like adopting a good habit seeing others. Inspire from someone and try to be successful like him but in your own field which you like to do. But sometimes I see a different kind of thinking regarding career goals for one's child and this is the main reason for which I am writing this post. I have personally seen these bothering situations. Let's understand with an example. Suppose, a boy who is trying to achieve his goal and somehow is not able to succeed. At a time while watching news on TV, seeing a good news anchor his father says "See him/her, what an anchor at this age and you  even can't get a small bit of success. Can you not become an anchor like him/her ?.." Another time while watching cricket, seeing a young cricketer parents say about his success and compare with their children's. And at different times, seeing young actor, dancer, a reputed government employee, pilot, player and any other famous personality they quip their children and make them feel low.

              Now the main question is arrived that are the parents not confused with their dreams ? Are they not able to decide what they want from their children ? Seeing an anchor they say to become like that, seeing a pilot they say to become like that. How can be this possible ? They only add confusion in their children's mind doing so nothing else. See another scenario here, if they praise a cricketer and want cricket as a career from their child then have they provide facilities of that level to their child. Likewise for other options can they fulfill requirements of that level to choose that particular field as a career goal. The answer is ….No. They can't afford anything special and want something special from children. Why do they not support their children to achieve something they like to do most. If the parents support their children in fulfilling their dreams, there is far better possibility to set a milestone in career and they will make them proud.

               I don't want to prove anyone wrong. I only want to make understand that know your own capabilities and limitations. Do the best according to your own wish not anyone else's. Don't compare your loved ones with anyone else without any base. Don't do incomparable comparisons and stay happy and satisfied with your own achievements because you love them.

Being so gentle is not a good idea

Yes, you read right. Everyone wants to be a good person but in this post I will tell you about goodness is not always good. You may have different views on this but this is true that in some cases there is a situation where you think 'Why I am doing this ….’. let me clear that I am not against anyone's gentleness and I want to be a good person also but there are some phases in life when I get bothered over all this. At times I think…. “Should I have done this…!”

              In today's world people are so much selfish that they would not take time to refute your good deeds done to them. You keep doing better, they don't have any concerns. You keep improving yourself, they have no interest in supporting you. No one knows what kind of people are those who even don't try to be better seeing others. They neither try to be a good person or citizen nor appreciate others. Believe me, some people are of the kind that if you try to make them understand or learn, you take risk of losing your calmness. Here, your trying to be a gentleman is a futile effort. If you do so, you can imbalance your mental calmness. You may get depressed with these people if you think about them deeply. So this is wise to be less or no careful with the careless fellows. People have tendency to feather their own nest. We understand this by an example-- Being a gentleman if you give somebody the money for his work to be done, he will take money happily promising return in due course. But, when you need money for your own work urgently you can't get it back. Then you will think “ If I can't get help in urgency, why should I try to be great by doing it for others.” People want their work to be done and others go to hell.

               I would like to share my experience with you. Whenever I go out of town, I learn new things if there is something to learn. I really like to learn and implement that in life. When I come back to home I expect my neighbours to be changed to good but…. in vain. People remain same doing same old things like they can't speak the truth, they can't give up bad habits, even they can't survive without backbitting one another. But big problem is that if you go to make them understand the things, they prove you arrogant or criticize you saying that you are doing this just for show. You are now a show-off in your society which you want to make an ideal.

                Although there is also bright side of the situation. There are some people who support you for the good cause and value your emotions. But these are only a handful and because of these people one can expect positive wave in the social system. These handful good Samaritans are the backbone of progressive society. These are the motivation for a person who tries to work for the betterment of society. These only a handful of people are sufficient to make balance with the plenty of irresponsible ones. Due to these very less people life exists on the earth. It is wise enough to keep doing great work despite some bad experiences.

Why people praise others for a deed while criticize their own children doing so ?

               I am writing this blog post after seeing some incidents about this serious matter of criticism for own kids and praise for others for same kind of deed. This is my personal experience as well in some cases. I confronted this state of mind many times and got bothered with this. This is not a good practice for your own loving ones. If people do so, they will be filling negative thoughts in their kids’ mind. And obviously, this is not good for soft relationship between parents and son/daughter.

              I have seen many people praising others for some kind of good deed and if their own child does so, they criticize him or her. They hinder their kids’ social progress doing so and they can't imagine that they are putting extra burden on their children's mind. If you think a thing right for others then how can that be wrong for your own loving ones.

              Imagine a religious scenario -- If a person follows the thoughts of a saint, what things the saint will give …... It is obvious that he teachs you to speak the truth, help the poor, help the needy, be honest and much more good deeds. A saint always preachs and imbue you with the honest acts of life. Now, if you learn some ethics and you learn because you consider them right then those who witness you about this will surely try to implement these good deeds in their life ( I am talking about children who are yet to learn about life). But, what do the people do….? Can you imagine… I tell you. After learning all the good things, people are ready to crush their truthfulness due to a minor selfishness. I don't want to mention here but I saw these impostors in my life.

               I want to share a real incident with you here---- Once a boy was trying to learn how to do cycling and he told his father that “See father, I am learning cycling. I will learn this in a few days or month and then I will help you in bringing some necessary things from market.” Feel the feelings and emotions of that boy, with how simplicity he expressed his intentions. Now, imagine what would have his father told him…! Obviously, the father should have regarded his feelings like - “Oh my boy, you are doing right. Of course you will help me my beloved. I will help you in learning fast.” But the boy get the answer in rather harsh words. His father scolded him saying this ( learning cycling ) a futile effort. I think... this is right to stop your children learning this kind of skill at inappropriate stage of life but what if you praise other’s children for same thing at same age as yours….

              This is only one example albeit many more other situations exist in society. A thinking pervades in which people belittle their own children in front of others. Even they don't care that how badly this can affect their children's mental health. They keep condemning their own children and slowly slowly that child fall prey to depression. After a long state of anxiety he loses his self confidence and in every task he does, fails or succeeds a little. In the long run, other consequences may also appear even rather badly. He secludes himself from others and resides in depressed mood. All this badly affects mental health and results in poor relationship in the family. So, always understand what your child likes and wants to do. Every child is different in nature and wants favour from his parents accordingly.

Target those who are responsible. Why do others suffer....?

I was forced to write this post after seeing some incidents in news. This post is somehow related to agitation. Although I have written one article about this issue, this is different from that. One day I was reading the newspaper and came across an incident about protest. Some people were protesting over their demand against administration and they blocked the road. From this point I was forced to think about suffering borne by others, who were innocent, due to this demonstration. What was the fault of those innocent people who were going to do their daily work.

         I am not against any honest demand made by anyone through protest. But it is equally important to think in a different perspective as to make aware the administration about your problems. I think it in a way in which no one suffers, only responsible person bears the brunt of problem. Suppose you are going to your office or you are going to somewhere with your family in a car and there is a road blockade by mob. The agitating mob suddenly comes to your vehicle and try to sabotage or set it on fire then how would you feel… definitely it should not be done. There may be a worst case scenario if you are with your loved one that is in critical health condition. Whatever wrong is done with those agitating people, at least you have not done that. Then why you suffer….?

             Protest has to be done by farmers for reasonable prices of their crops. It is very right, nothing wrong is in this. They should be able to get right fruits for their toiling in the fields. Protest has to be organised by students if there is cheating in their exams and government deny any wrongdoing. So they have to be organised a strong agitation against the administration for a fair enquiry. People are forced to protest if administration is biased to one fraction in some cases. Any type of protest is done, if the agitating people bother innocent people they will not be called right protestors. If any government employee does something wrong with you, go to his office and hold protest in front of him instead of blocking a road. Don't let him go to his home until he realizes his conduct. Any officer, politician or other, either of higher rank or lower should be treated in the same way.

             Here, one issue occurs that during mass protest by impeding any service like road blockade, power cut etc a pressure can be put on the administration. Yes, you can put pressure but what do the innocent people do…. As much as the protest is important, so is the care of innocent people. Do as much better as you can. It is also not that good if you make trouble to people punishing the guilty. If you block railway track in support of reservation or any other matter, think wisely how many innocent people suffer… you have issues with government then gather in front of the Parliament and show your unity and guts to the responsible ie government. I want to tell that we will have to be mature now and do the right things in the more right way.

Why are people so careless ?

Whenever I think about how should be a person ? What qualities one should have ? One thing often comes in my mind that one should be as caring as possible. Careness is the quality through which a person can be beloved by everyone. A caring person always make very special place in every heart. Whenever I meet such caring person, I always forced to think that why all the people in this world can't be of such a nice nature. What is the problem in that ? What are the losses a person is burdened with to become caring. I am of the thought that we don't lose any thing if we are caring about someone. Infact we get blessings and love from others in return. But some people are who don't care anybody’s emotions or feelings. This is the bitter truth that most of the persons are of the nature ‘who cares…’

              I share two incidents of me with you. First is - when I was in class 12th I needed a book so I went to the shop and asked for that book. Book was not available at that time and shop owner told me to come the next day. I confirmed about the book to come next day twice and he assured me that he would go to the city and brought that book as well as others for his shop also, so you collect it next day. I was happy and went next day but my book could not come. He did not regret and answered my question ignorantly. This is not the perfect example but he should not have promised me. And second is - once I had to fill a form of an entrance exam and one of my friends promised me to go together to purchase the form. I waited for one week but he didn't call me. After some days he came across me and told me that he had purchased the form and filled that up. He had submitted the form and I was still waiting for his call. That time I felt so disgusting that I can't tell you.

            I say you are free to live your life, live it as you want….this is ok. But you should not promise if you can't remain true to your word. I am not saying that you believe anyone blindly and don't care about your own matters. But if you have promised anyone, you must care about his or her feelings. This careless behaviour is prevalent in many areas of our life like- relations, professional life etc. Some people are so selfish that they want others pay heed towards them but they don't have any respect towards others’ feelings. I have a major concern about that person who cares for everyone. If a single person cares among entire group and others have no such feelings, then why that single person cares ?... He or she shouldn't behave if others don't deserve that kind of behaviour.

        We all are human beings. We all need some type of care in any form to keep our relationship warm. Always care for your loving ones and enjoy your life carefree.

Girl: Statue of Love or just Statue

Should a girl child come in this world or not ? Many people think about this more deeply and finally they decide in ‘Yes’. A lot of articles and many other views are written about this and I read them in newspapers and on internet as well as other kind of source. And also I find these kind of incidents around me and know through media either print or electronic. Well, I am not going to talk about this deeply, but I want to drag your attention towards the ‘another kind of mentality’ of people behind this.

            It is the matter of selfishness and greediness also. Think a little bit about – if those people want a girl child in place of male child. I always find this thinking in people in villages, but situation is different. When a mother gives the birth to girl children again and again then her family starts to abort or kill her child because they want male child. And, I also found some cases of selling her girl child to rich families just because of money. Now, think about cow and buffalo. When they give the birth to their female children then thinking of same people is changed. Now they want their female children again and again. Here is no problem at all. Why ? Because their narrow thinking. They want their profit at every point in their sense. (I don’t know what it is ?)… Their own girl child is wastage of money and reason for expenses. But female child of cow or buffalo is the channel of money in many ways. They want like this – When this female child later will give the birth to another female child then she will do same also during years and years, and this process will continue. So they (people) will be able to make money by their milk and their children after selling them in the market.

            What is this…… This is all about selfishness. These bad and dirty mind people always want their profit in every deal. They have no sentiments which should be. I saw these people do not miss a chance to leave a male child of cow as wanderer after some rituals if he has any weakness or he is handicapped. And male child of human being is not any problem, although they are 6-7-8 and even 10.

            For these people everything should be a matter of profit. They want to use everything. But, is the girl a thing ? Obviously not, a girl is not a thing. They have to understand this. They always forget that a girl can understand their feelings better than a boy.

            It is time to change this mentality. If we want to make this world full of happiness, joy and prosperity then we need to think deeply about this. I hope, the day will come once again when she will be worshipped as Goddess.

            Home can be made by bricks but it can be made heaven by a lady.

Protest: A Way For Your Feelings

Hi friends, it has been a long time since I wrote my post. But now I am here to share my views with you on another emotional matter. You are familiar with the word ‘Protest’. Protest is the way to show your anger on a matter which you think is illegal or illegitimate. I think it is the best way to express your feelings about an issue. But, think about if this way is gone in a wrong side, if this hurts someone mentally or physically…. Once I came across such protest in the news which was organised to register some valid demands by a group of people. But soon it turned into bad behaviour.

                 They thronged all along the road carrying effigies and placards in their hands. Much hue and cry was attracting everyone’s attention. There was a heavy traffic jam on the road and no one could come out of this. People were in big problem. But my concern is not about this because there could be another way to reach destination (although this cannot be ignored). I was thinking about roadside stalls through which some people earn daily by selling fruits, vegetables and many other things. I was thinking about those who earn hand to mouth by these stalls. They earn hardly sufficient money to bring about their family.

‘The Great Demonstrators’ suddenly went out of their patience and looted fruits, vegetables, and whichever thing they could. And, anyone who could not get anything vandalized the stalls. The stall owners could not oppose them. Protest was over in a few seconds and all protestors went their home. In a few seconds road was free from jam. All the roadside stalls were also free from stock. Some sellers could save 1 or ½ dozen bananas, some could save 4 or 5 apples. Although some sellers were who could not save any. Some stalls were ravaged so badly that could not be repaired. What was the fault of those stall owners---- I always think.

                 What kind of mentality is this ! whenever I think about these type of incidents, my mind gets tired and no result comes out. It seems to me that no one wants improvements in oneself. What should be done with this dirt of society…..why these people don’t think about others…. Why they can’t think if this would happen with themselves….. if I were almighty I would send those to the other planet and make our planet clean and green. Well, this may be improved if such people start to think the things by heart. But this seems to be impossible because the man is full of greed, selfishness and ego.

                 Now a days some people join the protest for their enjoyment. They have no work to be done so they think it a good timepass. But doing this they hurt innocent people and spoil the demonstration. It is good to protest for your righteous demands. Launch an agitation and put your anger in front of administration. But never victimize innocent people who are already suffering from various needs. If you do like that, your fair and legal demonstration becomes illegal and wrong.