Being so gentle is not a good idea

Yes, you read right. Everyone wants to be a good person but in this post I will tell you about goodness is not always good. You may have different views on this but this is true that in some cases there is a situation where you think 'Why I am doing this ….’. let me clear that I am not against anyone's gentleness and I want to be a good person also but there are some phases in life when I get bothered over all this. At times I think…. “Should I have done this…!”

              In today's world people are so much selfish that they would not take time to refute your good deeds done to them. You keep doing better, they don't have any concerns. You keep improving yourself, they have no interest in supporting you. No one knows what kind of people are those who even don't try to be better seeing others. They neither try to be a good person or citizen nor appreciate others. Believe me, some people are of the kind that if you try to make them understand or learn, you take risk of losing your calmness. Here, your trying to be a gentleman is a futile effort. If you do so, you can imbalance your mental calmness. You may get depressed with these people if you think about them deeply. So this is wise to be less or no careful with the careless fellows. People have tendency to feather their own nest. We understand this by an example-- Being a gentleman if you give somebody the money for his work to be done, he will take money happily promising return in due course. But, when you need money for your own work urgently you can't get it back. Then you will think “ If I can't get help in urgency, why should I try to be great by doing it for others.” People want their work to be done and others go to hell.

               I would like to share my experience with you. Whenever I go out of town, I learn new things if there is something to learn. I really like to learn and implement that in life. When I come back to home I expect my neighbours to be changed to good but…. in vain. People remain same doing same old things like they can't speak the truth, they can't give up bad habits, even they can't survive without backbitting one another. But big problem is that if you go to make them understand the things, they prove you arrogant or criticize you saying that you are doing this just for show. You are now a show-off in your society which you want to make an ideal.

                Although there is also bright side of the situation. There are some people who support you for the good cause and value your emotions. But these are only a handful and because of these people one can expect positive wave in the social system. These handful good Samaritans are the backbone of progressive society. These are the motivation for a person who tries to work for the betterment of society. These only a handful of people are sufficient to make balance with the plenty of irresponsible ones. Due to these very less people life exists on the earth. It is wise enough to keep doing great work despite some bad experiences.

Why people praise others for a deed while criticize their own children doing so ?

               I am writing this blog post after seeing some incidents about this serious matter of criticism for own kids and praise for others for same kind of deed. This is my personal experience as well in some cases. I confronted this state of mind many times and got bothered with this. This is not a good practice for your own loving ones. If people do so, they will be filling negative thoughts in their kids’ mind. And obviously, this is not good for soft relationship between parents and son/daughter.

              I have seen many people praising others for some kind of good deed and if their own child does so, they criticize him or her. They hinder their kids’ social progress doing so and they can't imagine that they are putting extra burden on their children's mind. If you think a thing right for others then how can that be wrong for your own loving ones.

              Imagine a religious scenario -- If a person follows the thoughts of a saint, what things the saint will give …... It is obvious that he teachs you to speak the truth, help the poor, help the needy, be honest and much more good deeds. A saint always preachs and imbue you with the honest acts of life. Now, if you learn some ethics and you learn because you consider them right then those who witness you about this will surely try to implement these good deeds in their life ( I am talking about children who are yet to learn about life). But, what do the people do….? Can you imagine… I tell you. After learning all the good things, people are ready to crush their truthfulness due to a minor selfishness. I don't want to mention here but I saw these impostors in my life.

               I want to share a real incident with you here---- Once a boy was trying to learn how to do cycling and he told his father that “See father, I am learning cycling. I will learn this in a few days or month and then I will help you in bringing some necessary things from market.” Feel the feelings and emotions of that boy, with how simplicity he expressed his intentions. Now, imagine what would have his father told him…! Obviously, the father should have regarded his feelings like - “Oh my boy, you are doing right. Of course you will help me my beloved. I will help you in learning fast.” But the boy get the answer in rather harsh words. His father scolded him saying this ( learning cycling ) a futile effort. I think... this is right to stop your children learning this kind of skill at inappropriate stage of life but what if you praise other’s children for same thing at same age as yours….

              This is only one example albeit many more other situations exist in society. A thinking pervades in which people belittle their own children in front of others. Even they don't care that how badly this can affect their children's mental health. They keep condemning their own children and slowly slowly that child fall prey to depression. After a long state of anxiety he loses his self confidence and in every task he does, fails or succeeds a little. In the long run, other consequences may also appear even rather badly. He secludes himself from others and resides in depressed mood. All this badly affects mental health and results in poor relationship in the family. So, always understand what your child likes and wants to do. Every child is different in nature and wants favour from his parents accordingly.