I am writing this blog post after seeing some incidents about this serious matter of criticism for own kids and praise for others for same kind of deed. This is my personal experience as well in some cases. I confronted this state of mind many times and got bothered with this. This is not a good practice for your own loving ones. If people do so, they will be filling negative thoughts in their kids’ mind. And obviously, this is not good for soft relationship between parents and son/daughter.
I have seen many people praising others for some kind of good deed and if their own child does so, they criticize him or her. They hinder their kids’ social progress doing so and they can't imagine that they are putting extra burden on their children's mind. If you think a thing right for others then how can that be wrong for your own loving ones.
Imagine a religious scenario -- If a person follows the thoughts of a saint, what things the saint will give …... It is obvious that he teachs you to speak the truth, help the poor, help the needy, be honest and much more good deeds. A saint always preachs and imbue you with the honest acts of life. Now, if you learn some ethics and you learn because you consider them right then those who witness you about this will surely try to implement these good deeds in their life ( I am talking about children who are yet to learn about life). But, what do the people do….? Can you imagine… I tell you. After learning all the good things, people are ready to crush their truthfulness due to a minor selfishness. I don't want to mention here but I saw these impostors in my life.
I want to share a real incident with you here---- Once a boy was trying to learn how to do cycling and he told his father that “See father, I am learning cycling. I will learn this in a few days or month and then I will help you in bringing some necessary things from market.” Feel the feelings and emotions of that boy, with how simplicity he expressed his intentions. Now, imagine what would have his father told him…! Obviously, the father should have regarded his feelings like - “Oh my boy, you are doing right. Of course you will help me my beloved. I will help you in learning fast.” But the boy get the answer in rather harsh words. His father scolded him saying this ( learning cycling ) a futile effort. I think... this is right to stop your children learning this kind of skill at inappropriate stage of life but what if you praise other’s children for same thing at same age as yours….
This is only one example albeit many more other situations exist in society. A thinking pervades in which people belittle their own children in front of others. Even they don't care that how badly this can affect their children's mental health. They keep condemning their own children and slowly slowly that child fall prey to depression. After a long state of anxiety he loses his self confidence and in every task he does, fails or succeeds a little. In the long run, other consequences may also appear even rather badly. He secludes himself from others and resides in depressed mood. All this badly affects mental health and results in poor relationship in the family. So, always understand what your child likes and wants to do. Every child is different in nature and wants favour from his parents accordingly.
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